I am in level 43 of this game called ‘Life’. The good thing about it is that I’ve seen so many desperate cases come to a good resolution, that I am an optimist (most of the time). I’ve also seen desperate cases unresolved. Watching the country that cradled me, sink without hope is not an easy sight (for example). But I know, that even in these extreme cases, there’s always, somewhere, hope. Maybe it’s a naive hope. But what else can you do but hope? Hope that things will change, that something in the road ahead will have an unexpected turn and make things better. If anything bad could happen at any moment, then anything good could happen at any moment too. It’s only logical.
Now, what’s something ‘good’? What is that ‘good thing’ we are hoping for? Sometimes, it’s just having a little time, an hour of peace of mind. Sometimes it can be being without pain for a while. Sometimes ‘good’ is just the absence of ‘bad’. Or it can be something huge, like finding a connection with someone, or finding work; or winning a contest, or getting an unexpected allowance of money.
It can also be that your classmate in junior high found a wasp, and that he captured it so everybody else could watch it under the microscope (like what happened to my daughter yesterday). It was a really exciting event that erased the boredom from school for a moment, and lasted the whole day for her, and probably to the other kids too.
Or it could be that after living all your life in big cities, you suddenly have a real horse living across the street. I saw it yesterday again, while I was walking in the parking lot of the building I live in (I’m recovering from a minor surgery). To me, that horse is like a unicorn sight, unbelievable. I never thought I would have a horse living so close to me, or that I could watch it every day. I look at it from far away, and it amazes me every time.
A lot of the good things that have happened to me are things that I never planned, or that I never thought would happen (same goes to the bad things). And a lot of situations that I wanted to happened, never did. I’ve had to abandon dreams and expectations many times, but I’ve always replaced them with others.
When I can’t find my north right away (like it recently happened for a few months when I couldn’t write) I still look for solutions and ways to get out of that hole. In those times I concentrate in being kind and patient with myself, knowing that just surviving the day ahead, is a good enough goal.
I know that a lot of the things that I hope for my future will never happen (I don’t know which ones). But the good part of being is this level 43 of life is that I KNOW that a lot of good things that I never thought could happen, WILL occur.
I am still marveled at the world, just like my daughter. I still get surprised, I still expect good things, because I know they will come. It’s just that sometimes they come wrapped in a radically different package than what I was expecting. Of course it is that way: Why would the universe limit itself to giving me only what I ask for, when the possibilities are infinite?
The Gentle and Brave Writer 